TITRE : A Taste of Childhood
AUTEUR : Vincent Fretin
FEEDBACK : vincef2001@yahoo.fr
SPOILERS : Saison 6 et une info sur la saison 7 de Buffy.
RATING : PG-13
DISCLAIMER : Faith, Buffy et tous les autres personnages appartiennent à Joss Whedon, WB, etc.
RESUME : Deux êtres mystérieux issus du passé des Tueuses ont décidé de rapprocher les Tueuses, trop fières pour reprendre contact l'une avec l'autre.

PARTS 1-4   PARTS 5-7

PART 1

10 AM, thought Buffy. It was 10 Am and for the first time in a long while, she had remained in bed. No Dawn taking care of, no Double Meat Palace crazy schedule to follow, nothing... just her, silence and free time.

The previous months had been catastrophic. Coming back from the death had driven her into a morbid lethargy that she so wanted to erase from History. She had neglected her sister, hadn't seen her best friend's problems, and hadn't been there to prevent her from becoming the dark and vengeful witch she had become for a short while...

Buffy slowly stood up and moved towards the stairs to prepare her breakfast. While doing this, she thought about the good old days, when everything was fine amongst the Scoobies. Xander and his hormonal issues, shy Willow, Giles as the responsible parent and Dawn who was just her annoying little sister. Now, Xander had responsibilities and a good job, he was currently staying in LA for a month, supervising the construction of a swimming pool or something like that. Willow was on therapy somewhere in England with Giles and Dawn was on a three weeks trip with Janice and her parents. So, Buffy was home alone and it was the perfect opportunity to think about what she was gonna do with her life now.

The last weeks, she had felt better. Xander had been there to help... a lot and she had trained Dawn in the Slayer's ways, which had been very entertaining. She was slowly recovering for the "OOH, I was dead" thing and it made her happy. Now, what would she do in life, to pay the bills and continue her slaying activities?

She finally reached the kitchen's entry and stopped walking. Something was odd... someone was in the kitchen... cooking? She slowly made her way to the room and quickly spotted a blond woman in front of the oven.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

The unknown woman jumped, surprised by Buffy's arrival, then she smiled to the petite slayer and replied:

"Pancakes!"

"That I can see! Who are you? How have you entered my house? What do you want?"

"My god, Buffy, you're still very inquisitive you know. I almost forgot it!"

Buffy had carefully walked towards the girl, her body fully ready to strike should the girl make a bad move. The blond noticed it and raise her hand above her head in a surrender gesture.

"Easy there. I'm not here to fight! I'm here to help you!"

"Help me! And you're expecting me to believe you? Why would someone I don't know anything about would help me?"

"Because I promised it to you and long while ago!"

Slowly, the blond girl moved her right hand in front of her. She tucked up two of her fingers, extending only her thumb, her middle finger and the smallest one and showed it to Buffy who looked at her, incredulous. That was the West Indian way of saying 'I love you', something she had discovered when she were a kid, a sign that had become a way of saying hello and goodbyes with...

"A...Alaïs?"

The woman nodded, smiling. She put her hands in her hair and showed Buffy her ears that were hidden behind it. They were pointy... and Buffy couldn't prevent herself to remember her first encounter with the woman.

The four years old Buffy Summers was playing in the garden of her parent's house, alone. She hadn't had lots friends to play with except her cousin but she wasn't there at the moment. She was thus playing with her dolls while her mother was doing some gardening stuff. It was a sunny day but the temperature wasn't hot.

Buffy got finally bored of playing with her dolls and was wondering what she would do next when she noticed that her mother and her weren't alone in the garden anymore. Indeed, a girl who had to be the same age as Buffy was looking at her, smiling. Buffy smiled back and the girl approached.

"Hey, I'm Buffy!"

"Alaïs!"

"You have funny ears!"

"Nah, yours are funny, mine are normal!"

"Do you want to play with me?"

The pointy ears girl nodded and began playing with Buffy.

"I... I thought you didn't exist. In fact, I'm wondering if I'm not dreaming right now!"

"You're not. Want me to pinch you?"

"I'd rather not, thanks."

"Ok, pancakes are ready now. Why don't we continue this talk in eating?"

"OK!"

Buffy knew that it wasn't the cleverer thing to do. After all, she hadn't seen Alaïs for 15 years now but she had spent so many days with her when she was a kid... letting nostalgia guide her, she followed the girl and sat down on the table, ready for breakfast. They began to eat and Buffy couldn't wait longer to discover what Alaïs was really doing here.

"So, you're real!"

"Again, yes. You humans have the tendency to rationalise things. As a pointy ears girl isn't "realistic", you just assumed I was a product of your imagination when you grew up. Plus the fact that your parents couldn't see me and said I was an imaginary friend didn't help."

"What are you then?"

"An elf!"

"As in The Lord of the Ring?"

"Kinda! We live in a dimension really close to yours and sometimes, pure and innocent kids of our worlds can communicate."

"Like we did!"

"Yes! But when human reason replaced innocence in a child's mind... well, this ability vanished. And that's the reason I left you then... I didn't want you to see me disappear, I wanted to say goodbye to you!"

"I remember! I cried a lot that day!"

"So did I! But I promised you something that day too. Do you remember it?"

"That if one day, I needed you, you'd come to help me!"

"And here I am!"

"It's a bit late now!"

Buffy regretted saying it as soon as the words had escaped her lips. She saw Alaïs flinch but the blond girl kept talking.

"I came but you couldn't see me!"

"Huh?"

"The elves keep the connection they have with their "imaginary friends" so, they can see us if we want... Usually. But if hope isn't in their hearts, there is no way of communicating. 8 months ago, there was no hope in your heart and when it came back, I just thought that it wasn't the right moment to come and make a cameo appearance in your life."

"Yeah! It was kinda messy, wasn't it?"

"Yes! But now, hope is back in your heart and there is no apocalypse on its way. So..."

"So?"

"You and I, we will both find back the Buffy Summers we all like and love."

They both smiled and even if Buffy knew that trusting Alaïs so quickly was pure craziness... she also felt it was the right thing to do.

PART 2

"Faith, listen to me..."

"No! You are going to listen to me, Tie Boy!"

James Fairland was speechless. He had been in charge of prisoners on parole since 10 years now but he had never crossed the path with someone like Faith, someone who dared to contradict him.

"Correct me if I'm wrong. The deal is: I come to see you once a week, I am not allowed to quit the state, have to avoid trouble and find a job in the following month... so, I'm not obliged to take the fucking silly jobs you're offering me. So, don't ever dare to propose me to work in a fish shop. Don't like the smell, don't like the place and don't like the idea at all. Understood?"

"And do you think you'd find a job so easily? Ex-con have lots of trouble to find it."

"I can open my own shop you know. After all, I'm Wilkins' heir! So, cut the crap and let me live as I intend to."

"Faith, I'm on your side as long as you keep your promises but..."

"Then, let me take care of it! Have we finished?"

James looked at the young girl and nodded. She wasn't particularly brilliant in psychology but he knew when a talk is needless. He noticed the grin that appeared on the girl's features and swore internally. God, this one would be very difficult to handle.

"See you next week then? Same hour, same place?"

James sighed again and replied: "Yes!"

"Good!" and with these words, she was gone.

Leaving the building of her parole officer, Faith walked towards her new apartment. Three days, she had been free for three days and was only beginning to savour it. This time, she wouldn't screw everything up; she would behave like a good girl, would become a model Slayer and would help the others too. She had money now and would use it. She hadn't talked to Fairland about her idea to open a shelter for abandoned children, a place where they would be taken care of, a place different from the ones where they were let alone in their own room, in their own worlds... different from the places she had known. Being a model in both human and Slayer level, that was the only way she could see for her redemption... It would be hard but she sure wasn't going to work in a fish shop. Still walking, she suddenly heard someone speaking to her.

"That wasn't the wisest thing to do!"

Faith stopped walking but didn't look at the guy who had just spoken. She knew who it was, this annoying little pointy ears guy with his black hair, black eyes and leather jacket that was probably his only good point. This annoying pointy ears guy who had come into her life the day before and continued to harass her every time he could.

"Thought I told you to get the hell away from me, Darek!"

"Ow, Sugar, you know me better than that! I'm quite stubborn!"

"'A pain in the ass' would suit you better! A pain in my ass!"

"I mean it, Faith. Antagonizing your parole officer would only lead you to trouble. And if you get into trouble..."

Darek didn't have the time to end his sentence. Faith grabbed him by the collar and pinned him on the nearest wall.

"OK, pal! It's not because we have seen each other in diapers that you own the right to judge me. So, here is a tip, Spock wanna be, let me live in peace." Then, seeing him smirked, she added: "What's so funny? Want me to knock you down again?"

"No, it's just that people are looking at you as if you were a damn freak. Should I remind you that you're the only one that can see me? Touch me or even hear me?"

"Go to hell, Darek!"

She let him go and began to walk towards the building where her apartment was that wasn't far anymore. She knew that Darek was following her but didn't look behind. She entered the place, took the lift, left it at the 5th floor and entered her room, closing the door even if it wouldn't stop the elf, as he was able to enter the place through his own dimension. And he did it.

"Thought you could get rid of me that easily, sugar?"

"Nope, but just remember that there is no witness here. So, I still can beat the crap out of you if I want to. And don't call me sugar!"

"Why? You liked it when..."

"Liked... As with ed at the end! I'm not a kid anymore, Darek! I've changed since the last time we met!"

"Not really... sugar. You can't fool lots of people and yes, you have known a dark spiral but inside of you, you haven't changed. All you have to do is open up, break the walls you've built and hope.

"Hope! You want me to hope! How can I hope after all I have done? Tell me! Come on, Lollypop... I mean..."

Faith saw the elf grin. She had just given him the nickname she used to call him with when they were kids. She swore internally. There was no way for her to let him in again, not after...

"You have hope, Faith. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to see me."

"Go away, Darek! You're wasting your time. It's too tiny to really matter."

"Even a tiny spark of hope is worth fighting for, Sugar."

"I'm not worth it; Darek!"

"Rot, Sugar! You're worth it!"

"I killed people, Darek!"

"And it's killing you, I know, Sugar. The past is the past, you have to move forward."

Faith wasn't replying, lost in her thoughts. So, Darek moved and put his hands on the girl's shoulders. At that moment, as she had been touched by an electrical wave, Faith jumped away from the elf; ready to fight if she needed to.

"Don't ever do that again!"

"Why are you so into the defensive, Sugar? I'm just trying to help."

"Help, I don't need help; Darek. I'm a loner!"

"And where did this loner attitude lead you? Faith, we have a link that can't be severed. When you're hurt, I feel it. I just want..."

"Don't ever say it or I'll kick your ass."

"Say what? None of what you're gonna say or do would stop me, Sugar! You're stuck with me."

"Then, I'll have to kick you out of here over and over again!"

Darek made a step towards Faith.

"What are you afraid of, Sugar?"

"I said don't call me sugar." Faith growled between her teeth.

"Letting someone in, trusting people?"

Darek made another step.

"If you come any closer... I... I"

Faith wanted to stop him but she couldn't... Inside her, she knew that she couldn't make it alone... but, on the other hand, it shouldn't be him.

"Feeling something?"

Darek was now in front of Faith, waiting, noticing Faith's hesitations. Then, suddenly, the dark Slayer dropped her guard, her hands standing on either sides of her body.

"I can't let you in; not you..."

"Why Faith? Why can't you let me in?"

Darek slowly put his hand around Faith and hugged her. The brunette didn't reply to the embrace but Darek could feel her sobbing. Then, in a very low voice she asked:

"Where were you? Where were you when he did this to me?"

Darek was about to reply when he felt Faith returning the embrace, her head hidden in Darek's right shoulder, crying.

"I so needed you then, lollypop, where were you. I didn't find you... I needed you... Needed my friend."

Then, calmly, the elf answered the question.

"I was there, sugar. I tried to reach you... but you couldn't see me. You shut me out."

PART 3

Buffy rolled once again to the other side of her bed, then closed her eyes to open them again. It was the middle of the night and she had to give it in. There were few chances for her to sleep this night. She had too many things inside her head to really find the peace necessary for her trip to dreamland. Sighing, she sat on her bed, back against the wall and thought once more about the events of the previous days.

The last two days had been great. Finding Alaïs back was one of the greatest things that could have happened to her. The elf had this ability to make you comfortable enough to enjoy like but also to share things, to express someone's issues more easily.

They had spoken about nothing and everything, about the shiny memories and the darker ones. Buffy had discovered than Alaïs was married now and had two children. She was happy in life, happy in love and the blond Slayer had felt a point of jealousy when she had heard that. That was the life she wanted to have but her destiny and her own history weren't leading her to this ideal existence.

They had talked about Buffy's life, her Slayer duties and the sacrifices she had to accept. They had talked about Buffy's death and the events that had followed them and the light Slayer had even admitted that she now knew that part of her was darkness and that it worried her. Then, Alaïs had asked the only question she didn't want to answer, was afraid to answer, was afraid of the answer.

"And what about the other Slayer? You told me that she must be out of jail now, that her behaviour has been exemplary. Don't you think that she could help you with this specific issue?"

Faith! The dark Slayer! Her nemesis or was she really it? The more the time passed, the more Buffy realised that there weren't so many differences between them.

Faith! She had tried to forget about her but it hadn't passed a week without something to remind her of her dark counterpart. The only one who could really understand her.

She had thought of visiting her lots of times. When Dracula had showed up and revealed her links with the darkness, when Glory had appeared too strong for her, when she had been on the verge of self-destruction after her resurrection... but she hadn't for various reasons.

She didn't want to be hurt by Faith again, couldn't risk to trust her again. What if all her good behaviour had been faked and she was still psycho? She so didn't want to fight her again. What if she had really changed? Could they find their connection back? What if she didn't want to see her?

It had been more than two years now and the same reasons came back again and again. And every time she asked herself those questions, she couldn't sleep! They were too stressful to let her rest. Why did Faith have still so much impact on her?

A ray of moonlight entered Buffy's room, lighting her face and the look of intense concentration she had. Nope, this night wouldn't be a sleepy one.

Faith's entire mind was focused on the chessboard in front of her. Things were getting hard there. Darek was a very good chess player but Faith wasn't an amateur either. She had learned chess in jail and had soon become a very good player herself. Still, Darek had already beaten her twice and she wasn't gonna let him win this game. She suddenly heard something he was saying and froze.

"...B..."

"What? What have you just said?"

"Wow! Keep calm, Sugar. I was just wondering where the hell did you find this chess game, the pawns look like bees."

"Oh!"

"What did you heard? Have I said something wrong?"

Faith looked at him, wondering if she could talk about Buffy and all the past that was still a heavy weight on her shoulder. Then, she shook her head and said:

"Never mind! Wasn't important."

Then she looked back at the chess game as if nothing had happened. But she couldn't play Darek and the elf wondered how he would succeed in making Faith opening herself enough to speak about her real issues... issues involving a town called Sunnydale and a blond Slayer.

PART 4

Darek entered his house. The night had fallen on the elf's country and he was happy to find the lights of his household back. He took his jacket off and went to the western side of the house to check on his children. They were both asleep. Satisfied, he closed the door and went to the kitchen when he knew he would find his wife. She was indeed there, washing the plates. His wife, his other half, his Alaïs.

"Morning sweet butterfly!"

"Morning honey!"

He went towards the blond elf, hugged her then gave her a long and sensuous kiss. They finally broke the kiss but stayed in each other's arms.

"Have you already eaten?"

"Yep. A burger Faith ordered."

"Yuck! How could these humans eat those things. All not natural and synthetic. Ew."

He smiled before kissing her on the top of her nose.

"Forget the plates. I want to cuddle you on the sofa."

"Who am I to refuse you something my prince?"

He smiled again and they both went to the living room to sit of the sofa, never leaving the warmth of the other. They remained silent for a few minutes, enjoying the contact. Then Alaïs asked her husband:

"So, how was today?"

"Usual! We spoke, joked, laughed but she still doesn't want to talk about what happened between them. She is thinking about it though. Since I let the B letter slip, I've been often seeing that look in her eyes, the look she has when she's thinking about something important but doesn't want to speak about it."

"Well, knowing you. You haven't found a way to introduce the subject."

"Hey! I'm probably not the best diplomat on earth but..."

"Oh! Look at these chess pawns, Faith. Don't they look like bees... Come on, hun, how could you expect something to come out of such a lame excuse to launch a talk?"

"Well, it seemed logical at that time... Besides, have you had any luck with Buffy since your talk?"

Darek's temper was beginning to rise and Alaïs didn't want to make him furious. Slowly, she answered his question.

"No! She is thinking about it too. She has the same look in her eyes, the look you talked about earlier. God, they are so damn stubborn!"

"Well, as they are a lot like us, it shouldn't surprise you."

"Yes. See, I thought about it a lot and I think that might be the problem!"

"What?"

"I'm too much like Buffy! You're far too close to Faith's temper..."

"So, do you want us to switch?"

"That's the idea! I think Buffy might need some rough treatment, the straight to the point remarks you're so good at. And Faith, well, let's just say that she might need some diplomatic skills!"

"Well, good luck with that! I don't know how you'd succeed in convincing her to move her ass."

"Dar! You should know me better than that, after all, I have managed to convince you lots of times. I just have to use the same techniques with Faith."

Seeing the look of complete disbelief in her husband's eyes, she blushed and added:

"Stop the dirty thoughts, Darek! The other kind of technique."

"Oh, that kind... yes, it might definitely work."

"Good! So, it's a deal." She kissed him and said: "Now, I think you can come back to these dirty thoughts of yours."

Faith had just woken up but didn't want to move. She could distinguish the rays of the sun behind her curtains but didn't want to move. She wasn't in the mood and for now, staying in bed seemed the best thing to do.

The day before, she had had a long phone conversation with her parole officer. She had explained to him what she wanted to do with her money, build a shelter for the kids. He had said that it was a good idea but that he doubted that it could succeed ever... People doesn't want to trust an ex-con for such a job. It had hurt, still did. She knew that Darek would probably come soon. She liked him to be around... and didn't. Sometimes, he had the gift to make her think about things she'd rather not think about.

Suddenly, she felt something... or someone. The bed had bowed to her left... Yes, there was definitely something or someone crawling in her bed and as it couldn't be Darek... She focused on all her sense, ready to strike then, to her complete stupefaction she heard a child's voice singing:

"A touch of blue, a sun in the sky, all the things to make your day bright... A touch of green, a tree in the ground,... er... and I don't remember the rest of the song."

A kid! What was a kid doing in her apartment? She slowly opened an eye and saw the cutest little girl she had ever seen. She was blond and Faith couldn't miss her pointy ears... rears that helped her figure out who that girl was. The child looked at her and smiled, noticing that the brunette was awake.

"Morning!"

"Morning! May I know what's the name of the angel I have in my bed?"

The little girl smiled and blushed while Faith cursed herself. But she knew deep down in her heart that she couldn't make anything about it. Kids had always been and would probably always be her weakness.

"I'm Kena! And you are my father's friend!"

"Yes, I'm Faith. Nice to meet you, Kena."

Suddenly, all the bad thoughts that had come with the waking up thing were gone. Yes, Faith was soft when children were around but, hell, it felt good. She then heard a soft cough and turned her head to see a blond woman standing near the door of her room. She was about to ask whom it was when Kena said:

"Mommy! This is Faith! She's daddy's friend."

"I know sweetheart! Hi, I'm Alaïs. I'm Darek's wife. He couldn't come today and asked me to keep you company. As I had no one to take care of Kena, I brought her with me. Did she bother you?"

Without thinking about her answer, Faith heard herself say: "No, not at all!"

"Good! I'm making breakfast. I should be ready in ten minutes."

And then, she vanished in the other room. Alone with Kena, Faith looked at the kid, smiled at her then, seeing the paper she had on her knees, asked:

"What are you doing, K?"

"K?"

"Yeah. I like to give cool names to the persons I like. Like it?"

The little girl grinned then said: "Yeah!"

"So, what are you doing?"

"Drawing!"

"And what are you drawing?"

Kena moved and went of Faith's lap. Surprised by the move, the brunette found herself stuck in her bed with the little elf both feeling awkward and happy about it. With her finger, Kena showed her what she had already drawn on the paper.

"This is my house, with Mommy, Daddy and my brother. I wanted to draw a horse but they are difficult to draw. Can you draw horses, Faith?"

"Hem, well. I'm not really good at this drawing stuff, you know." Faith then pointed to the other persons Kena had drawn. "And these people, who are they?"

"My friends! Mona, Jelly and Laty. They are my best friends. Have you friends, Faith?"

Faith cursed internally again. That was what was not so good with kids. They have this ability to find questions you so don't want to think about. Still, she saw the green eyes of the girl, green eyes that reminded her of others and couldn't prevent herself for answering:

"NO!"

"You don't have friends? How come?"

"Well, let's just say that I had friends, particularly a girl I liked hanging a lot with."

"And?"

"I scr... made mistakes. Hurt them very badly... hurt her very badly and I know that they hate my g... don't like me anymore so, I... I won't see them again. That's the reason why I have no one, K."

"You can't be sure of that!"

"What?"

"If they are real friends, they will forgive you."

Faith smiled at Kena. Children were so naïve sometimes.

"It's not that easy, K. I hurt them real bad."

The girl looked at her, then shook her head and replied:

"You want to hear a story, Faith?"

Faith nodded, glad that the kid had decided to change the subject.

"My best friend is Mona. We were born the same day and she's been my friend since we were born. One day, we were playing with nuts that had just fallen from the trees. We threw them to each other as if they were snowballs... but there was no snow that day."

Faith smiled. Kids, they had always the sense of details.

"And I... I threw a nut in her eye and it bled. I was scared and ran to Mommy and we went to the healer that said that it was pretty bad as her eye could have an in... inf..."

"Infection!"

"Infection. Thanks. But she finally got better. When I went to see her, she didn't look at me. See, I hurt her real bad and she didn't want to see me anymore. I cried a lot and went to Mum asking for her advice. She told me to continue to go and see her 'cause we were best friends, we had something no one had and that one day, she would forgive me. I did what Mum told me to do. During a week, she refused to see me but one day what Mum told me happened. She forgave me, said that she couldn't be angry about me longer."

Kena looked at Faith who seemed lost in her thoughts.

"Faith?"

"Huh?"

"See! She can't be mad at you very long."

"I wish you were right, K. But B is pretty stubborn you know."

"The day I spoke to Mum, she said something else to me."

"And that was?"

"What do you have to lose?"

Faith was taken aback by what the girl had just told her. She didn't hear Alaïs calling for them for dinner, didn't hear the ecstatic reaction it brought to Kena. The only thing she was hearing again and again in her head was those six words:

What do you have to lose? What do you have to lose? What do you have to lose?

Suite PARTS 5-7