TITRE : Maturity suite de A Taste of Childhood. AUTEUR : Vincent Fretin FEEDBACK : vincef2001@yahoo.fr SPOILERS : Saison 6 et une info sur la saison 7 de Buffy. RATING : PG-13 DISCLAIMER : Faith, Buffy et tous les autres personnages appartiennent à Joss Whedon, WB, etc. RESUME : Après avoir decidé de donner à leur amitié une autre chance, Buffy et Faith apprennent réellement à se connaître.

PARTS 1-4

PARTS 5-7

PART 1

"So, basically, she has to behave, find a job and stay in California, right?"

The parole officer just nodded. He had tried to say something a few times since the beginning of the talk but had quickly given up. No one could interrupt or even say something when Buffy Summers was in babble mode. She was standing just in front of the officer’s desk, explaining the whole situation with lots of gesture while the guy had his eyes looking everywhere, probably to find an "anchor" to face the storm that had fallen on him.

Sitting on a chair, on Buffy’s left, Faith was looking at it, grinning but also amazed about what Buffy was doing. She was pleading her cause in front of her parole officer and just by thinking about it, her grin became a smile because for the first time since she got out of jail, she truly believed that she had a chance to make things up with B.

The previous day had been rich in emotions. After having decided to give their friendship a second chance, the Slayers had continued discussing, had spent hours talking about themselves and what had happened since Faith turned herself in. It was as if a dam had been destroyed; freeing all the water it was holding. Only the water were words and the dam had just been walls that had fallen apart as soon as they had decided to finally open up with each other.

Buffy had talked about Angel’s departure, about Riley’s, about her sex "affair" with Spike, something she seemed really ashamed about and Faith could understand why. Behaving like this wasn’t Buffy style, it was almost hers, or rather more her former self and thinking about it now was also making her feel sick.

Then, Buffy had begun talking about the Slayer part of her life, explaining her fight against Franken-Adam-Stein, the Goddess bitch named Glory, the fact that Dawn wasn’t her real sister but a thing made with energy, about her sacrifice, her resurrection and the lack of feeling that had accompanied it. Then, she quickly mentioned Red’s insane vengeance trip after Tara’s death. Hearing how Buffy had talked about it, Faith knew that these were still fresh wounds in Buffy’s soul. In a way, the blond Slayer felt guilty about the whole mess. She had listened to Buffy the whole time, sincerely concerned, trying to comfort her when she felt it was needed and, according to the soft smiles she had received from the older girl, she hadn’t handled it bad.

Then, when Buffy had asked about her life, Faith had surprised even herself in telling her everything. The first couple of months in jail had been a living hell. The girls had wanted to domesticate this new girl but they quickly learned not to mess up with her. She had said that a few times, she had been real close to kill another human again, it was instinctive, her bad side wanted to dominate her again. But she didn’t, she wanted to be good again. The guards had also been there to beat the crap out of her when she let her wild side take the control of her.

Afterwards, thanks to both Angel’s tai chi books and the visits to her shrink (even if she would never admit it to him), she learned how to calm herself down, how to control this anger. It was at that moment that she had made the decision to act inside the jail as she should have outside... as a Slayer. She took advantage of her reputation of "lethal weapon" to impose some rules. At first, the gang members weren’t too happy about it but they soon learned who was the boss there. She had gained the nickname of "Marshal Faith" and jail had become more pleasant to live in. Sure, there was still some traffic inside of it, she couldn’t stop everything but still, she succeeded in avoiding trouble for the rest of her stay.

Another positive thing about it was that the guards were kinda thankful for it, so when she had faced the judge for her parole, there were a bunch of people on her side. Then, she had spoken about her being the mayor’s heir and the financial advantage of it. She had even talked about her wish to open a shelter for the kids and could hide her deception when she had been told that, as an ex-con, there were almost no chances for her to achieve this goal.

They had talked for hours but it had felt so good to finally being themselves, just Buffy and Faith, without pretending, without some image bullshit, without issues. Then, Alaïs and Darek had come to pick them up and they had joined them for dinner. After that, they had split up, Buffy promising Faith that she would come with her to her appointment with her parole officer and she was there.

"Faith?"

Hearing Buffy call her, Faith went back to present time.

"Sorry, I twilightzoned for a few. What is it?"

Buffy smiled to Faith and Mr Fairland, the parole officer answered.

"This is unexpected but I don’t see anything to refuse your proposition. Miss Summers just gave me her number and your new parole officer will call you in a few days. I have nothing to add except good luck, Faith!"

They slowly stood up, shook the man’s hand before leaving the place.

Buffy looked at Faith. She was on the wheels and they had just passed the "Welcome to Sunnydale" board. Faith was nervous and it was easy to guess why. The place had so much bad memories for her. Reacting on instinct, Buffy took the brunette’s hand in hers and squeezed it. Faith turned her head, surprised at first but smiling afterwards.

Focusing back on the road, Buffy thought about what was coming for them. Faith was going to live in her house for a while. She insisted on it. This time she wouldn’t let her stay in a cheap motel or even an apartment, this time, she wanted to do the right thing.

"So, you spoke to the G-man yesterday?"

Buffy nodded and continued: "Yeah, that’s the advantage of him being in England. You can call him even when it’s real late."

"And he really agreed to let us take charge of the Magic Box?"

"Well, he was worried at first but I convinced him."

"Did you threaten him cause I don’t see how he would have agreed otherwise."

"Nope, I did exactly the same thing as with Fairland. I went into babble mode and he gave up."

Seeing Faith’s amused expression, she added: "Hey! You have to use your natural qualities to survive, haven’t you?"

"God, B. I can’t see how to thank you for everything. I mean, you offered me a job, a place to stay, a second chance... I just hope I won’t..."

"You won’t!" was Buffy firm reply. "You won’t cause I won’t let you. This time, whatever happens, we’ll deal together."

"I... I... OK."

Changing the subject, Buffy asked: "Still OK with the investment thing?"

"I want to, B! It’s the least I can do. The place is in ruins, I’ll fix it."

"Want to see it?"

"Hell yeah!"

PART 2

Faith put the bag down and looked at the place. The Magic Box was completely empty now, there were no more traces of the damages done when Willow brought havoc in the place. It had taken two whole days for Buffy and herself to clean the place, from the shop itself to the training room.

Thinking about the last two days, Faith couldn’t prevent a small smile to cross her mouth. She hadn’t thought it would be that easy for Buffy and herself to feel as good as they were feeling three years back. It was as if by opening themselves to the other, by accepting their errors and flaws, by giving the friendship thing a whole new start, they had put the past in a dark corner of their mind to concentrate only on the joy they had to be together. They hadn’t forgotten anything because doing so would be wrong and not careful, wise. No, they had forgiven the other and that was in itself amazing.

She then caught someone moving in the direction of the training room. She saw the light disappeared and smiled again. Buffy had just switched the light off and was coming towards her, wearing an identical smile on her face.

"What are you thinking about?"

"How good it is to be your friend again!"

Buffy smile grew brighter when she replied: "Oh yes, it is!"

She winked at Faith before adding: "So, you wanna move or stay here, staring at the emptiness of the Magic Box?"

"I can’t wait to see it full!"

"Yes, but we’ll have to wait for Xander to come back. He is the carpenter and I’m not gonna ask another one, he would kill me."

"Or me..."

Faith had just whispered it but it was still loud enough for Buffy to watch it. Without thinking, she put Faith in an embrace to comfort her.

"No broody thoughts! Summers rule number one, remember?"

"I don’t remember you telling me rules, B. Should make a list for me so I know which ones to break."

That reply made Buffy smirked. Faith and rules, definitely no match possible here. They stayed like this for a couple minutes, enjoying the embrace before Buffy pulled Faith away. "So, what about a short stop home for shower, dinner and... patrol?" "All a girl needs to hear, B."

Hit! Dodge! Hit! Hit again then, dodge and stake. Poof, no more vamp! Scanning her surroundings, Buffy didn’t see nor feel anymore vamp. Only the one Faith was fighting right now. She felt a bit of disappointment right now. Two vamps weren’t enough for the night but she doubted that they would cross the path of another bloodsucking bastard this night. Crap!

Since she had begun patrolling with Faith, the joy of the slay had come back in Buffy’s heart. It was as if patrolling with Faith again had awakened this part of her and she sure wasn’t gonna complain. It was another proof that things were good again between the Slayers.

Looking at Faith, she watched in awe as the dark Slayer moved gracefully to tease, hit and dodge the attacks of her opponent. Her eyes wandering to the firm but delicate muscles that moved under Faith’s jacket and pants, to the grin, that wild and so sexy that Faith’s face bore when she was slaying... wait a minute! Did she just say sexy? She meant... what did she mean? She felt herself blush form the tip of her toe to the top of her hair. Yes, she had thought that Faith was sexy and not only her grin but the way she looked in her leather clothes too. And then what? She was just a girl thinking that another girl was sexy. Nothing wrong about it. Then why was she blushing?

"Earth to Buffy!"

Faith was in front of Buffy and all she could think about was how sexy her grin was. Then, Faith put a finger on her head and said:

"The trick is to stop listening to whatever your head is telling you and to focus on what your eyes are seeing, then, you’ll see, your lips would actually move."

"Yah su!"

Faith smirked and continued: "Then, you can try to say the articulate part of the deal!"

"What? Oh. Sorry, Faith. Was lost in my thoughts!"

"Don’t worry! No need to flush... unless your thoughts were of the nasty kind... In this case, I want to know everything."

"What? Faith!"

She gently hit Faith’s arm, teasingly. Even the banters were back between them and it felt so good.

"Yes, it’s me and I’m hungry. Can we go back home?"

"Sure!"

After having said goodnight to Buffy, Faith went upstairs and entered Dawn’s room that she currently used to sleep in. It was Buffy who had insisted that she slept in the casa Summers. Even if she could buy a brand new apartment with the money the Mayor had given her, she knew that it was Buffy’s way to erase the guilt she still had for letting her stay in that shitty motel three years back. As Dawn wasn’t there right now, she had borrowed her bedroom, it would still be time for them to find other arrangements when she’d be back.

She put her clothes off, then, after a quick stop in the bathroom, she dived into the bed. She didn’t switch the light off though. Instead, she stared for a while at the picture of Buffy and her that was now standing next to the bed. It was Buffy who had insisted of taking it, a photo of the two of them taken the day she had come back to Sunnydale. Buffy had said that as she hadn’t had any picture of them from the past, they would take lots of them now, no objection allowed and she had been dead serious about that point. Faith had found and still found it cute, cute as the blush that had covered Buffy a little earlier in the graveyard. She was still wondering what the blond Slayer had thought back then... She had noticed that she had been the centre of these thoughts though. She had seen it in her eyes... it reminded her of... No, that couldn’t be, not Buffy... and strangely enough, the thought of Buffy lusting about her didn’t repel her, on the contrary... no, it was just because of the slay, the hungry and horny thing... But still, why was she blushing then?

PART 3

The little girl looked around her, looked at the shitty apartment she was in, looked at the drunk woman lying on the couch who was grumbling unintelligible things to her. She felt herself smile at the sight. She then looked at the crappy comic book she had in her hands and continued reading it. It was a X-Men comic, one of those she knew the story by heart yet but wasn’t tired of reading again and again.

Suddenly, a wave of panic hit her right after having heard the front door being slammed by someone. The little girl could fear her panic, almost taste it in her mouth. The thought of running her ass of the room crossed her mind but then her eyes locked themselves on the drunk woman and she knew that she should stay.

She saw the man approaching her, could feel his anger. He was so huge, a giant in front of the scared little child she was. She saw him grab her hand and led her towards the kitchen. Then, saw him take his belt out of his pan, saw him test it on his hands before seeing him raise it. She closed her eyes and waited for the pain to come.

When she didn’t feel anything, she opened her eyes again to see that she had blood in her hands. She then noticed a knife in her guts and slowly rose her head to see the person standing in front of her... Buffy.

Buffy woke up in sweat. She had a hard time finding her breath back. What was this dream about? What was this nightmare that had scared the shit out of her?

Slowly, she found her breath back, could calm herself down and think about it, analysing it piece by piece, or at least, analysing what she remembered of it. It wasn’t a prophetic dream, she was sure about it. Some parts of it were clearly from the past. Then, it hit her, full strength, she remembered the last part of the dream and figured it out. She had been gutted by her double in the dream! It wasn’t her dream she had just witnessed, it was Faith's.

How could she have just lived Faith’s nightmare? Was it a Slayer dream? She couldn’t believe how scary this dream had been, how strong the fear, no, the panic had been like in this dream. She had guessed that Faith’s past hadn’t been a fairy tale, far from it but the feelings she could still feel in her guts were so horrible...

She was still lost in her thoughts when she heard someone walking in the hall. Faith, it could only be her. After having seen what she had seen in the dream, she wanted to go after her, hold her, hug her in a embrace that could erase all of it. But she also knew that it wasn’t the right thing to do either. First because the pain was old, Buffy had felt it. Second because she was a little bit ashamed to have witnessed it, even unwillingly. She slowly stood up and followed Faith in the hall though... she had to do something, she still didn’t know what but, she had to.

When she reached the last step, she heard Faith in the kitchen then she saw her walk in the living room, a glass of water in her hand. Even if she wasn’t close to her, she could notice the sadness in Faith’s manners, in the way she walked. She walked slowly towards the entrance of the room and watched Faith as she sat on the couch.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Faith holding her glass with her hands, lost in her thoughts, Buffy staring at her, looking for a way to help her friend. Finally, the blond Slayer decided to improvise, she couldn’t stand staying there, helpless, while Faith was so sad in front of her.

Faith sensed Buffy’s arrival and stiffed, not sure what to do, what to expect from Buffy. She had felt her presence in the dream, knew that she had seen everything, didn’t want her pity... She didn’t dare to look at her while Buffy sat next to her. Then she was surprised when Buffy put her arm around her shoulders and gently rocked her. Faith didn’t know what to do. Part of her wanted to get away from Buffy, screaming that the blond Slayer had no right to interfere with what she was feeling... but it felt so good to have Buffy comforting her, so good that she didn’t listened to the other voice and let herself being comforted.

Buffy was relieved to see that Faith was accepting her help but she prevented herself from sighing or saying anything. She somehow knew that any word could destroy the moment. Still, she wanted to help her friend further, she gently pulled Faith till the dark Slayer’s head was on her lap then began stroking her hair. This simple gesture was very helpful when Dawn was upset or crying and she hoped that it would help Faith too.

Faith felt herself being calmer and calmer. Buffy had a gift in this comforting thing and she sure wasn’t gonna complain. As the minutes passed, Faith knew that Buffy wouldn’t say anything, wouldn’t ask anything and she was thankful for that... but at the same time, she felt the need to tell her, for the first time in her life, she felt the urge to tell someone about her past. She hadn’t even say a single damn thing to the Mayor but somehow knew that Buffy would understand and not judge. So, after 15 minutes of silence, Faith, still surprised of herself began her story, her eyes lost in the wall in front of her.

"I’ve never known my father..."

Buffy was stunned by what Faith was doing, she had never expected that. All she wanted to do was comfort her. But at the same time, she felt honored that Faith had chosen her for this and she wasn’t gonna disappoint her, disappoint her friend, this strong and beautiful woman she felt more and more comfortable with, a woman she cared more and more about. Still stroking her hair, she listened to Faith’s story.

"... he was some wealthy guy who paid my mum for a quick fuck. Yeah, B. My mum was one of these high standard whores. She had expected to blackmail the guy with me and I’m sure that it was the only reason she gave birth to me."

At first Faith’s tone had been detached, as if she was talking about someone else. But the last words contained so much emotion that Buffy knew that the rest would be painful for Faith to say.

"She never gave a damn fuck about me, repeating over and over that I was trash, garbage, that I ruined her life but the most incredible part was that I loved her. I loved her, B, I couldn’t avoid it. I needed it, needed an anchor, someone to love and she was the only person I knew then. So, in my twisted fucking head, I began to believe what she said to me, and I loved her because she was living with me and I believe I didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t that bad though, she was drunk most of the time so..."

Buffy had needed all her will not to interrupt Faith when she had said that. How could a woman treat her own child like that? But, still trusting her feeling, she let Faith continue her story.

"When I turned 9, my mum met a guy, Grey. She wasn’t the high standard whore then. Alcohol and drugs had led her to the standard whore status and she was wasting her time and her heels on the street of Boston. Grey was a gang leader, a little scum, but I think that he truly loved mum. At first, I was glad cause mum seemed happier when he was there."

Faith paused. Buffy could feel her tremble, saw some tears falling from her cheeks. It should be the hardest part. She gently lifted Faith up and lay on the couch, bringing Faith with her, holding her by the waist and rocking her again. Faith, surprised at first, accepted it and was even thankful for it. It gave her the strength to continue.

"One day, Grey entered the apartment, furious. Some problems with the gang. He began to shout at mum and then he slapped her, hit her again and again. I couldn’t let him do that so I try to stop this motherfucker to hit my mum. He turned to me and hit me then again and again. O God, B, it... it hurt so... much..."

"Shttt, it’s OK."

These were the first words Buffy said. Part of her was sad with Faith but another part was furious against Faith’s mother and this guy, Grey. If they were in front of her right now, she knew she would tear them into pieces.

"I... after that... he... he just said thank you to me... he said that it had calmed him... so... he... he wouldn’t hit my mum... cause he loved her so much... From that day... every time something bothered him... he... he came and hit me... be... before fucking my mum... and... and part of me was glad, B... could you imagine it? Part of me was glad cause by letting him beat me, I was helping my mum... the little trash I was, was helping mum not being hurt... I know it was insane but I was just a kid... and I needed something, someone to love."

The next minutes were silent. Buffy was containing the anger, the fury Faith’s story had raised in her but she still continued to rock Faith. Faith was searching for the strength to finish the story, strength that she finally found.

"Grey and mum were killed one night by another gang. The cops brought me to an orphanage. After a few years there, I escaped and lived on the streets. I became detached till the moment I met my watcher. It was then that I truly understood how fucked up my mum was... You... you know the rest of the story." They stayed like that for long minutes before falling asleep.

PART 4

Buffy was watching Faith as the brunette was sleeping in her arms. The night before had been rich in emotions for both Slayers and Buffy was still feeling the deep hatred she was having now for the monsters that have done all this horror to her friend.

She had been awake for almost two hours now. She was not used to sleep on the couch but was surely not complaining about it. She had been there to help Faith through all of this, had been able to help her, something she hadn’t been capable of three years prior.

At first, Buffy had thought of coming back to sleep. Then her eyes had been caught by Faith’s face and she hadn’t been able to break the contact. Faith was so peaceful in her arms, so cute asleep, so sexy too. The petite Slayer felt a kind of rightness about it as if Faith had been made to fit in her arms, as if it was natural. She couldn’t deny it anymore, she was attracted to Faith and the more she thought about it, the more she wondered if it hadn’t also been the case three years before.

Thinking about the events that had occurred then, she remembered perfectly the joy she had when she was slaying with the brunette, this wild girl that could make her forget her issues so easily just by being herself. She remembered the couple of days before Finch’s staking. They had been so good together and, during those days, she couldn’t have thought about anything, anyone else, Faith had been the centre of her universe then. How could she have ignored it? It seemed so clear to her now... even the feelings she had towards the brunette afterwards. She had felt betrayed, compared herself to a victim and only the ones you love could cause feelings that were that strong. She had been too focused on her own problems to acknowledge it and probably too young too.

So, yeah, she was attracted to Faith but what about now? Now that her feelings were coming back full force. Was Faith returning her feelings? She had thought that maybe she had been three years prior but what about now? Could she risk their newfound friendship by revealing her feelings to Faith? On the other end, who knew? Faith could indeed share her feelings. Life wasn’t easy, love wasn’t easy but if it were, it wouldn’t be worth it, would it?

She looked at the clock. 11.15. Faith had an appointment with her new parole officer at 14.00. It was time to wake her up. Part of her didn’t want to. It would break the charm of the instant. She so wanted to erase the bad memories from Faith’s mind. But she couldn’t. What she could do was to forge new memories for Faith, funny and good ones and at that moment, she decided that it was what she was gonna do now. They had time before Xander came back to begin working at the Magic Box. As they didn’t have anything work related to do before that, they were gonna have a whole week of fun, just the two of them. With this good decision in mind, she decided to wake Faith up by gently rocking her.

"Faith! Time to wake up."

"Mmmh!"

Buffy smiled. Faith was definitely not a morning person.

"Faith! Your appointment, remember."

"Tell him I’m sick. Too good in your arms."

The blush and a feeling of joy came to Buffy while a fully awaken Faith was just realizing what she had just said.

"I... I mean... er..."

"I know! You needed it."

A weak smile crossed Faith’s face when she said, whispering.

"Thanks, B! For... pretty much everything."

"You’re welcome! You know what I was thinking about?"

"Breakfast? How cute I am when I sleep?"

"No, I mean that was before and..."

"So, you think I’m cute, B?"

The flush came back to Buffy’s face. Geez, Faith was definitely the only one that could tease her and make her feel like this.

"Y... yes. You were so peaceful and all... and... anyway. Back to what I was thinking..."

"My cute ears are listening to you."

"Well, as we have to wait for Xander for the Magic Box... I thought that we could take advantage of the free time. We could meet after your appointment and go somewhere to just have fun. Is there a place you want to go to?"

"Well, I always wanted to go to a swimming pool."

"A swimming pool?"

Faith blushed, ashamed.

"I... I’ve never gone to a swimming pool... the kids, back there said that it was wicked funny, different from the damn beach we used to go to... and... Oh, forget it."

A swimming pool? Faith had never gone to a swimming pool? Not surprising if you took into account the miserable childhood she had had. In fact, it had been a long time since Buffy had gone to one too and if her memories were right, there was a huge open-air pool in Sunnydale. Smiling she said to Faith:

"Go for swimming pool day then. You go see your parole officer; I’ll wait for you outside then, go to the pool. But before that, we need a strong breakfast."

Buffy pulled Faith who was still lying on her away then winked before walking towards the kitchen.

"B?"

"Yes, F?"

"You’re not that bad in the cute department either."

Buffy blushed again before disappearing into the kitchen.

Faith looked as Buffy disappeared in the kitchen. Buffy had found her cute! And she had found her cute too when she was hesitating after her tease. During the last days, Faith had thought about how cool her new relationship with Buffy was and, if she had known Buffy’s thoughts, she would have been surprised to notice that they were very close to her own. Still, the brunette had also noticed the way Buffy was reacting to her teases, her innuendos... the blushes, the knowing looks, the "just because I want to look at you" looks she had surprised sometimes... and the previous conversation wasn’t contradicting her conclusions.

But perhaps, was it just wishful thinking. How could she be sure that Buffy shared her own newfound feelings for the light Slayer? If she was wrong, she couldn’t jeopardize her friendship with Buffy. It was too important to her. But, for the first time in her life, she had someone who had awakened love in her. Not the kind of love she was used to look after, the "Get done, get gone" kind of love. No, the feelings were deeper than that and were even increasing day-by-day, hour-by-hour, minute by fucking minute. For the first time in her life, Faith wanted to begin a real and complete relationship with someone... with Buffy. A relationship based on love and trust. But how could she be sure that her hopes were just more than hopes, that there was really something going on between Buffy and her?

She could only find a way to know it. After her appointment and before going to the swimming pool, Faith was going to do something she hated: SHOPPING.

Suite PARTS 5-7