147 Days eng

Buffy was walking down a white path, was surrounded by white and bright lights and all she could do was continue to walk. All she could remember was her last minutes on earth. The fight with Glory, the discovery of Dawn, bleeding, her sister's blood opening the gate between the dimensions and her ultimate sacrifice to save the world, again. She had done it, she was in pieces, her friends were safe now. So, where the hell was she?

She walked during an eternity before meeting a strange guy, dressed in white, this omnipresence of the white colour was becoming to get on her nerves, it was not that she did not like white, it was just that she did not like white alone. The guy smiled, the kind of smile you see only on commercials and Buffy was wondering what he was about to sell her, or try to.

"Welcome, Miss Summers. I'm Alexander."

"Two questions, Alexander. Who are you and where the hell am I?"

"Straight to the point, I like that. Guide and in Heaven."

"Oh! Hope Heaven is more than that. White is kinda boring in the long run."

"Don't worry, Buffy. It's just that every religion described the way to paradise as a white and bright path... We just don't want to scare them in presenting it in other ways."

"So, what does it really look like?"

Alexander raised his hand and a sumptuous landscape appeared surrounding Buffy. There was a lake with beautiful birth on it, there was a small hill, covered of snow and there was a magnificent house surrounded by large fields of grass. Animals like horses, dogs, cats were also present everywhere.

"Wow, that's more like the paradise I used to dream about."

"That's normal, we made this place according to your vision of paradise."

Buffy's smile grew on her lips. That was it, after so many years of fights and stress, after having accomplished her duty, she would finally have the peace she had so often wished.

"Do you want to see the inside of your house?"

"Of course."

They began to walk into the house direction when Buffy noticed something.

"I don't see anybody else, are we alone?"

"You have neighbors and there is a whole town behind the hill. It's a very pretty little town where our guests can socialise but we do prefer to give them a little privacy in their home so, we create these kinds of private haven. It's not as if we haven't places enough, you know."

"That's great but, what if I want to invite somebody in my house?"

"There is no problem, as soon as you want them in."

"That reminds me of something."

"Yes, that's what your soul mate said too."

They were in front of the door and Buffy had just stopped in hearing the last sentence.

"My soul mate?"

"OH, yes, I forgot to mention it. You will share your haven with your soul mate. Generally speaking, it is with the husband or the wife but unfortunately, many people do not end their lives with the true one, we just correct it here."

"And my soul mate is here yet?"

"Yes, you won't have to wait for your soul mate's death to meet her. In fact, she had arrived a few minutes before you."

"Her? It must be an error."

"No, there is no error. Please do enter."

Buffy entered the house, wondering who her soul mate will be. Inside, there was a wonderful living room and two persons. The first one had to be the guide of her soul mate, the second one was... Faith.

Buffy did not know what to say. What was Faith doing here? She could not be her soul mate. It was not possible.

Faith did not seem surprised, she probably already knew that Buffy was coming. She acted then quickly, throwing her fist into Buffy's face.

"Bitch. It's your fault, it's all your fault."

Buffy wanted to strike back but Faith's guide just snapped his hands and the two of them disappeared. Alexander made a sorry face and said:

"Sorry, Buffy. I thought she would have dealt with her death already."

"Why did she keep saying it was my fault? Was she killed in prison and blamed me because I pushed her to make her confession?"

"Er... in fact, it's a little more complicated than that. She is here... because you're here too."

"What?"

"The slayer bond that unites you is the cause of her death. When you died in Sunnydale, she had a heart attack in jail."

"Huh?"

"See, it was the first time there were two Slayers on earth. Faith was the last one called but she was called because you gave a part of this power to her."

"To Kendra."

"Indirectly, you gave it to Faith too but you still had a link with this power, even if it was inside Faith and this power died with you, and Faith didn't survive it."

"Oh God. No, it's not possible, when Kendra died..."

"You didn't feel anything because you were the oldest keeper of the power. The oldest always survive, the youngest... has to die."

"I... oh God..."

Buffy did not know what to say. She felt guilty. She had caused Faith's death. But it was not logical, Faith tried to kill her many times but, still, she felt guilty.

"Go and find her, Buffy. She is your soul mate, you are gonna live forever together."

"Wait. How could she be my soul mate? We barely killed each other on earth and, what is she doing here? She is not that good you know."

"It's not individual deeds that matter, Buffy. It's the good and evil done by the two of you. You've done plenty of good things, Buffy, Faith has done bad things but she was doing a very good job in jail. You should talk to her or at least try to. You have to open your hearts, both of you."

And Alexander vanished.

The two following days, both Slayers chose to avoid any confrontation. Buffy did not know what to say while Faith moved as soon as Buffy appeared in a room. Buffy and Faith were also very aware that their common past was an issue and did not know how to speak about it. Finally, the evening of the second day, Buffy decided to go and talk to Faith, who was eating while watching some program on Heaven TV.

"Faith, we need to talk. We can't continue like this."

"Was here first, B. Thanks to you. Nothing to add."

"Oh come on! How could I know that my death would lead to yours? Two Slayers at the same time, it had never happened before."

No answer.

"And... I'm sorry."

"That'd be a first."

"What does that mean?"

"That you usually never apologize, girlfriend. Never apologize for ignoring me, treating me like your sidekick and throwing shits on me when I killed Finch."

"What? Ignoring you? I tried to socialize with you, wasn't easy because you were often away from us, outside your motel room and when we finally began to be friends, you... you refused to admit that killing Finch was bad, lied to Giles in saying I was the one who stabbed him and went the Mayor psycho-bitch."

Faith stood up and, hands on her hips, she stared at Buffy.

"Wanna see psycho-bitch in action, B?"

That was the reaction Buffy was expecting. She extended her hands forming a cross with them and her body and said:

"If it can help you deal with it by hitting me, do it, F."

Buffy could see hesitation on Faith's face, what would the dark Slayer do?

"Move to your right, B."

"What?"

"Just do it."

Not moving her arms, she made two steps to her right and, before she could make any other move, she felt Faith's punch hit her jaw, throwing her on the sofa that was behind her. Buffy smiled. Faith had hit her but the good side was that she had made her move so she would land on a soft place.

"Feel better, F?"

"Not yet. It's your turn, B. We switch places."

"What?"

"Don't think I didn't figure what you are trying to do. In letting me hit you, you expected that it would ease my... issues about you and, fuck, it worked, I feel better yes but, you have your issues too, B. I screwed it up too, two years ago. So, do it, B. Dig your damn fist in my face, girlfriend."

Buffy did not know what to do. Part of her was afraid and confused by Faith's offer but another part of her wanted to do it and the blonde Slayer knew that she had to shut that part down. So, she hit Faith who landed in her own sofa.

"Ouch, you practised, heh?"

"A little... Faith."

"Yeah, I know, we need to talk."

Buffy came back with sodas. She gave one of them to Faith, then sat on the couch. They took seeps of their glasses then an awkward silence began.

"So, what happened in Sunnyhell? Who killed you? A vamp?"

That was a way to begin the conversation, not the one Buffy would have chosen but it was a beginning.

"Remember Dawn?" Buffy asked praying that Faith actually did.

"Yes, remember Miss Muffet, why?"

"Some hellgod tried to sacrifice her to open the gate between all the dimensions meaning, end of the world. The ritual said that once her blood began to drop for a wound, the only way to stop it was to stop the blood running. In other words..."

"Kill Dawn, Oh God, Buffy you..."

"I beat the hellgod but it was too late, the gate was open... then, I remembered that Dawn and I are from the same blood and..."

Buffy saw that Faith had understood, she could see tears almost dropping from her eyes. It was so unFaith that it troubled the older Slayer.

"Gosh, B. I... I don't know what to say."

"My choice. She'll deal with it, I hope. It's not like I had any other choice. I'm sorry to have taken you with me though."

"Don't! Life in jail isn't worth it, believe me. I managed to crash the gang policy and to create a kind of prisoner police to lighten the atmosphere but it's nothing compared to the outside. "

"So, why didn't you escape? It wouldn't have been difficult with your Slayer strength."

"I earned it, B. I've done lots of bad things, made you a victim..."

"Why?"

"Why what, B?"

"Why did you do this? I mean, I know you're not the talkative kind of girl but I was there too, I could have helped you."

"I was a loner, B. Besides, I don't think I would have found the words, I'm a doer, B."

"Then, why didn't you do something to show me?"

"I thought about it, B... a lot but you wouldn't have liked it."

"Wouldn't have liked what, Faith?"

"What I... wanted to explain to you. The real reason why I screwed it up."

"Do you really think I was that bad? You were my friend, Faith. I could have heard anything from you. Faith, doing it now, could it help you?"

"What?"

"Yes, Faith. Show me now what you wanted to show me then. I'm sure it is the main reason that keeps us apart, that prevents our friendship to come back. We are stuck with each other because of a heavenly decision, I'd rather live eternity with a friend than with a mute."

Buffy saw that Faith was struggling with her proposal. Would she do it, whatever she intended to do? Then, she saw her alter ego stand up, she saw her kneel in front of her, saw her put her hands on her shoulders and looked into Faith's brown eyes.

"Is it really what you want?"

"Yes."

Buffy did not know why but something in Faith's voice made her heart still for a second. What was she... and then, she felt it before realising it. She felt Faith's lips on hers. It was soft, sensuous and strange. The kiss was quick and Buffy could not escape from Faith's eyes, both gazes locked in each other.

"I... I gotta."

"No!"

"B... I think it's... I..."

"Do you want to know what Alexander told me before leaving when I moved in?"

"What did he tell you?"

"That we have to open our hearts. You just did it and you're right, it explained lots of things but... that kiss hasn't opened your heart only but... mine too. It made me feel woaaaaa I can't find a word to describe it, my legs are still shaking and it wasn't even a real kiss. Faith (Buffy could see hope in Faith's eyes now), for the first time since I arrived here, I think that this whole soul mates thing could be true. In fact, I want to believe in it."

"Really?"

"Really, these sensations you've just made me feel, it can't be explained otherwise. God, even Angel didn't make me feel that way."

Then, Buffy saw a grin on Faith's face, a grin she had not seen on her face since a long while.

"What's up, F?"

"Well, Just wondering. If a not real kiss made you see stars, just imagine where a real one would lead you."

"I'm not good at imagining things. Guess you would have to show me."

"With pleasure, B."

And Faith did so.

Two days later, on a bright and sunny morning, Buffy was in the kitchen, preparing a huge breakfast for Faith and herself. Her lover was still in bed, asleep. The last night had been long and... well, it had been long. She could not believe it, could not believe how quick all that had happened. Faith and her had been enemies and now, after sharing their true feelings, all of that had disappeared, replaced by love, pure love, and eternal love. It was amazing, she felt as if every minute she spent far from Faith was not worth it, she had become the center of her attention, the only thing she could think about and yet it was not scary, on the opposite, Buffy had the feeling that it was normal... must be the soul mates effect.

Suddenly, Buffy heard a knock on the door. She quickly thought about appropriate outfits and automatically, she was wearing them, another benefit of living in Heaven. She walked to the door and opened it.

"Alexander, what a surprise."

"Hello, Buffy. How are you doing?"

"Never been better. Come in."

"I don't want to disturb you..."

"Nah, don't worry. Faith is still asleep but I'm sure she won't mind."

Alexander entered the house and joined Buffy in the living room. He sat on a sofa and saw the look Buffy gave to the stairs.

"Miss her?"

Buffy blushed a bit then answered: "Yeah, silly isn't it?"

"Not at all. It's just how things should be."

"Yes, I don't know how it is possible but... in my mind there is no Faith, no Buffy... just Faith and Buffy, us and our love. It's overwhelming and I don't want to change anything."

"I know the feeling. You've opened your hearts, both of you. And when it happens here, there are no more bad memories, no more doubts or awful feelings, there is just love... and its advantages."

Buffy drank literally Alexander's words; just love and its advantages... love...

Another knock on the door resounded in the house. Wondering who it could be, she looked at Alexander and said:

"You said that nobody could enter without our permission."

"Well, as your guide, I can also grant this permission. Don't worry, you'll like it. I'll go know".

And the guide vanished in the airs.

"Oh, I hate when he does that."

Buffy sighed and went to the door she quickly opened.

"Mom!"

"Hi honey."

The Summers were in the living room now. They had hugged for a long long time before deciding to enter. Then they shared a cup of coffee and talked about Joyce's life in Heaven. Buffy discovered that she was still waiting for her soul mate, a news that saddened Buffy but Joyce quickly comforted her in saying that he will not be long before joining her, they talked about the events on earth, Dawn and the Scoobies...

"I'm so proud of you, Buffy. I would have preferred to see you on earth a little longer but, well, it seems like one of my daughters had to join me here."

"B?"

Buffy smiled to Faith who had just come into the room, wearing her usual leather outfits. Fortunately, she should have heard that someone had come to visit them, otherwise, well, Buffy did not think her love would have worn anything, something she liked of course but, not when her mother was in the same room... or in the same state.

"Oh... Hi, Mrs S."

"Hi, Faith. So you're my daughter's soul mate."

"Well, yes."

Buffy did not miss the look of both happiness and shyness that came from Faith.

"She is good, now mum... and... I love her."

"I know, honey. Alexander told me she was your other half when I arrived here. It was a shock first but then I look at the good Faith had done when she was in jail and all changed. Do you know she organised a kind of security force among prisoners to prevent racket, rapes..."

"Seemed normal at that time... no biggie."

"It was a biggie, Faith. Honey, did you know that?"

"No... in fact, well, we haven't talked that much..." said Buffy who had just turned red.

"Not that our mouths were shut but..."

"Faith!"

Vapors were coming out Buffy's ears. She was so embarrassed but seeing Faith and her mom burst into laugh, she joined them. Finally, things were as they should be.

The following weeks and months were just perfect. The Slayers lived in their house, enjoying the presence of the other. Some rooms were exclusively Faith (a mini-disco with heavy metal CD's, ...), other exclusively Buffy (library, who would have thought that Buffy would have liked reading books so much...) but most of the rooms were just them.

Each week, they went to the town who was like a huge village with small and adorable buildings and gentle neighbors. They could find anything in this place and meet everyone. There was no money here, everything was gratis and given with love.

They met new friends or lost ones like Miss Calendar, who lived in a strange realm with lots of modern technologies to rule it or Kendra who had found her soul mate and lived in a kind of monastery who was typical Kendra style with bare room and lots of sports material and areas. The three Slayers quickly made a schedule to train. Training had been part of their lives for so many years that they could not live without it.

Then, the third month, a message was posted in their box, a message Faith had been expecting and feared since her arrival, a message from Alan Finch.

"What are you gonna do?", asked Buffy to her girlfriend.

She could easily see that she was scared to face him because that was the content of the message. Faith had asked Finch if she could meet him and he had finally agreed.

"I'll go. I have to do it, B."

"No, F., we have to."

Buffy took Faith's hand in hers and the two girls moved away, and, by simply thinking about their destination, they arrived in the entry of Alan Finch's realm.

It was a charming little house, near a lake. When they arrived at the door, a short but good looking woman welcomed them. She was Mariah Finch, Alan's soul mate. They had married a few weeks ago. Then, she led them to Alan who was in the living room and left.

Alan Finch looked at them, waved his hand to invite them to sit then waited. Buffy had Faith's hand in hers, refusing to let it go. She squeezed her lover's hand to comfort her, knowing that coming here was hard for her, then Faith spoke.

"Look, I'm not good at this kind of things but... I had to... I'm sorry, I know it won't change a damn thing but..."

"It changes a lot, Miss, a lot."

Alan Finch smiled then stood up and continued.

"You're in Heaven already, Faith. You could have taken advantage of it and enjoyed every single minute you could... with your soul mate but instead, one of the first things you did when you arrived was asking me if we could meet. That proves one thing, Faith... that you're a good person. I forgive you."

And it was it. Everything was so easy in Heaven, a place with no hard feelings. Buffy and Faith had spent the day with Finch and Mariah. They became close friends the following months. The shy civil servant, pawn of the Mayor, had become a very nice fellow with a strange but very interesting sense of humor.

Buffy and Faith were sitting near a tree who was close to Finch's lake. The Finchs were inside the house and they had left the Slayers enjoying the sight. It was as if they had guessed that the Slayers wanted to be alone. It was almost five months since their arrival and every single day had increased their love and need for each other. Faith was between Buffy's legs and they just enjoyed being together.

"I've seen your mum this morning while I was in town, looking for the flowers I brought you this morning."

"Still no news from her soul mate?"

"Nope, who knows, it could be some English librarian."

"Faith, that's not funny!"

Faith smirked a bit then relaxed in her girlfriend's arms.

"Why are you so against it, B? They would make a terrific couple."

"I don't know, F. It's just... Well, Mum is Mum and Giles is Giles, I can't see them together, It feels gross and weird and..."

"And what?"

"......."

"B?"

Faith turned her head to see Buffy becoming very pale.

"B? What's wrong?" asked a now very worried Faith.

"I don't know... I feel weak... it's as if."

"B, your hand, look at your hand."

Buffy looked at her hand and saw her becoming transparent, she could see through it.

"Faith, what's happening?"

"I don't know, honey. We have to stay calm. We are in Heaven... What could happen?"

"Faith, I can't see you clearly, oh God... Something is pulling me away. Hold me, Hold me."

Buffy was terrified and she could see the same feeling in Faith's face. What was happening?

"I won't let you go, B? I promise."

"Hold me, I don't want to lose you."

Buffy could feel Faith's grip on her back. It hurt a bit but she welcomed the pain. She did not want to be taken away from Faith, from her soul mate, from her other half.

"B... I can't feel you, you're becoming intangible."

"Faiiiiiiiiiiii!!!"

Buffy could see tears in Faith's eyes while she just vanished from paradise to wake up in... a coffin.

"Noooooooooooooooo!!!"

Her scream woke her up. Buffy was in her bed, in the Summers house. She was covered with sweat. The door of her room opened suddenly. It was Willow, her best firend. The woman who had taken her away from Heaven... the woman who had taken her away from Faith.

"Buffy? Are you alright? "

"Yes, Will. I'm fine. Just a bad dream. It's OK. Go back to sleep."

"OK, If you need anything..."

"I'll call you."

After a smile, Willow left the room. Buffy switched the light on and looked at her room, at the window she used sometimes to leave the house, at the weapons that covered the ground on her left. Weapons from last week's patrols, weapons she did not have the desire to move. The gun the demon used to threaten some monks on Monday, the swords used by the vampires she dusted last Tuesday, the axe she had found on the ghouls she slayed on Wednesday, the knifes of Thursday's zombies...

She thought about switching the TV on too but then remembered the events showed on the last newsflash. Terrorism, war, violence... common ingredients of a day on earth. How could she be glad to live here when every inch of her told her that she did not belong here? How could she live in such a world when she had experienced pure happiness in Heaven? And most important, how could she live here when half of her was not?

At first, she had not remembered a thing about Heaven, about the 147 magnificent days she had spent there but lately, everything came back to her and since the day before, she had known that what her dreams told her were true memories. She still could feel Faith's lips on hers, could smell her so unique perfume just by thinking of it. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see Faith's smile and missed it as soon as she opened them. This place was Hell without Faith and the peace she brought with her.

Part of her hated Willow. The first thing that had come to Buffy's mind when she had entered the room, a few minutes before, was hurting her. Buffy knew Willow did not mean to take her away from Heaven but she did. If only her spell... wait a minute. There is still a link between Faith and her... the same link that killed Faith when she died and if the link was as strong as Alexander had described it, there is a chance that Faith had resurrected too. Yes, Buffy was sure of it now. If her body had been restored, Faith's body had to. So Buffy jumped out of her bed and grabbed her mobile phone. Hope guiding her moves, she quickly pushed the ninth button and composed the phone number then waited.

"Angel Investigation! We help the helpless."

"Cordy. It's me. I want to speak to Angel, quickly."

"Hi Buffy. Is it difficult to have a little interest for the others by saying: Hi Cordelia, how are you doing..."

"Cordy, cut the crap and put me through Angel and fissa."

Buffy heard no more sound from Cordelia then Angel's voice came through the mobile.

"Buffy?"

"Angel, no time to talk. You have to find Faith."

"Err. Buffy... Faith is..."

"Dead, I know. She died the same day as me, I know. But..."

"How..."

"That's not the point. The Slayer bond that links Faith and me is still there. My body has been restored and I think that Faith is back too, all you have to..."

"Buffy!"

"... do is find her grave and check..."

"Buffy!"

"... if it's empty and it will be then..."

"BUFFY!"

"... you'll have to find her, she might be a little disoriented but..."

"FAITH HAS BEEN INCINERATED!"

"Wh...What?"

"Yes, she always said that she didn't want to rest in a grave. There were too many bastards who take pleasure in raising the deaths, she didn't want to be part of this shit, she said."

Faith... not on earth.

"Buffy?"

Faith lost...

"Buffy?"

Faith... gone...

"BUFFY?"

Faith, half of me.

"Buffy?"

Faith, I'm coming.

"Buffy, hello?"

PAW